Category Archives: New Discoveries

Edward Maya

The song ‘Stereo Love’ by Edward Maya has been playing on the radio a lot. I actually love it.

Maya is by far the best artist that I’ve recently discovered.

His other singles ‘Desert Rain’ and ‘This is My Life’ are also pretty good. Can’t say I’ve listened to his entire 2010 album, ‘Stereo Love Show,’ but it might truly be worth spending some money on… I’m diggin’ his stuff.

While doing some research, I discovered that I am older than Edward Maya by TWO days.  As he travels all over the world partying, I sit in an office cubicle day-in and day-out.

In his 24-years of living, he has managed to become famous due to the measly one studio album and three singles that he released; the ENTIRE world has grown to love him/his music. I, on the other hand, really haven’t accomplished much.

The video for his song ‘Stereo Love’ has been viewed on YouTube more than 95 MILLION times. As for me?! I have 25 followers on Twitter. Whoop-dee-doo.

But what can I say? If you’re good, you are GOOD. This is the least hateful blog entry I’ve written in a good while. And I like it. Or maybe I just have weird taste when it comes to tunes. Doubt it, but whatever.

Keep up the good music. Or make me miserable.

Peace.

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La Roux

Lately, the song ‘Bulletproof’ by La Roux has been playing on the radio quite frequently.For the time being, I actually dig this song.  If I hear it five more times though, I might just get fed up.

The synth-pop beat and lyrics are truly not bad but Elly Jackson’s voice is borderline unbearable.

What is ironic to me is that La Roux is comprised not solely of singer Eleanor (her name really cracks me up) Jackson but also of keyboardist Ben Langmaid. I feel really bad for him because unlike Elly, he might possibly have some talent…

Not only is she dragging him down, she is also stealing all his thunder…  I am sure that not even half their admirers have the slightest clue that La Roux isn’t simply a one-man band, much less that Ben is part of this duo.

Before the song ‘Bulletproof’ made its way into several billboard music charts here in the United States, La Roux was known in Europe for their two singles, ‘Quicksand’ and ‘In for the Kill.’

These two songs easily make it on my list of “10 worst songs of all-time,” along with Pat Benatar’s ‘Hit Me with Your Best Shot.’ What BAFFLES my mind is that ‘In for the Kill’ won several music awards and Elly Jackson won an award for best female newcomer.

Whaaaaattt?!?! You have got to be kidding. People’s taste in music never ceases to shock me.

Listening to La Roux’s entire CD was honestly worse than getting kicked in the teeth. Sorry to break it to you La Roux, but the fact that you managed to come up with one hit song doesn’t make you talented, it just means that you got lucky.

And here is a French word for you, Elly… You sound and look like derrière. Some people (e.g. you) should never sing;  plus, cracking a smile every once in a while won’t kill you.


Mike Posner

Mike Posner became well known for his hit single ‘Cooler than Me.’  His album, “31 Minutes to Takeoff,” which was released a couple of months ago, features hip-hop/alternative rap/electro-ish songs.

There’s nothing crazy special to his music and ‘Cooler than Me’ has been overplayed like whoa. There are only a select few (perhaps only two) songs from Mike’s CD that actually stick; most of them I wouldn’t be able to sing in my head even if I listened to them over and over again a billion times.

Nevertheless, I do have to give him props for being able to stand out from other rap and hip-hop artists. The electropop cadence found in ‘Please Don’t Go’ definitely makes it the most enjoyable song in Mike Posner’s album.

And sure, being eye-catching doesn’t hurt… But seriously dude, overconfidence kills. Could you take any more pictures with your hands on your head?! Doesn’t make you any cooler

That’s all.


Travie McCoy

I’ve heard the song ‘Billionaire’ on the radio countless times.

I despise it.

I had no knowledge of Travie McCoy until I discovered who was behind this beautiful song that I’m sure people all over the world have stupidly grown to love.

Who doesn’t want to be a billionaire so freaking bad?! Etcetera, etceterah…  Oprah.

Yuck.  I am vexed.

Other songs from Travie McCoy’s CD, “Lazarus,” such as ‘After Midnight’ and ‘Akidagain’ are just as agonizing as ‘Billionaire.’

There is, however, one song called ‘Need You’ that I surprisingly actually slightly enjoy.

Even still, Trav, your rapping/singing talent is pretty nonexistent.

Why don’t you just run off into the sunset with your BFF, Bruno Mars, holding hands and singing how desperately both of you wish you could [but never will] be billionaires.


Estelle

So, after hearing the song ‘American Boy’ a billion times on the radio while driving and at other unwanted occasions, I decided I hated the song enough to find out what genius idiot came up with it.

First of all, to say the lyrics are annoying doesn’t do it justice.  “Take me on a trip…” blah, blah, blah “American boy, American boy…”  I really want to come kick you.

Second of all, does this girl Estelle sing with something inside her mouth? Seriously woman, open your freaking mouth when you sing!

And stop sounding so nasally.

Being the nice girl that I am, I decided the least I could do was give her a chance by listening to the rest of her CD.

That was a mistake. It all sounds the same…  What torture! The butt-facial expression that Estelle is making in her picture is EXACTLY the same face that I am making. right. now.

I couldn’t resist the opportunity to share my most-loved song from her CD, titled ‘Pretty Please (Love Me).’

I feel a bit sympathetic toward her seeing as she has to beg for love, but who would ever want to love someone who has such a big mouth yet doesn’t use it properly and persists on sounding this awful?

Estelle, here is a tip for you that’s commonly referred to as: the two finger rule. When you sing, open your mouth wide enough so to fit two fingers between your teeth.  Or you can put something else in there if you prefer.

In your favorite words, pretty please go back to wherever the heck you came from.


Bebel Gilberto

Although Bebel Gilberto was born in the United States, she is the daughter of João Gilberto, a famous Brazilian musician who is considered to be one of the pioneers of Bossa Nova (popular Brazilian music that derived from Samba).

Her uncle, Chico Buarque, is one of Brazil’s greatest Samba singer, songwriter and interpreter, and Bebel Gilberto’s mother, Miúcha, is also a Brazilian singer.

One would assume that the descendant of good musicians would be capable of producing music that is equally as great as what her family has composed and performed.  However, as demonstrated by Bebel Gilberto, this is not always the case.

She is so well-known that I never heard of her until researching for blog ideas.  Her 2009 album “All in One,” Bebel’s fourth album thus far, was so boring that I had no desire to investigate her previous three CDs.

Bebel Gilberto’s album features a combination of songs in Portuguese and English, which I believe is the root of the problem.  The song ‘The Real Thing’ demonstrates that a Brazilian with an accent should NEVER sing in English.

Her accent is so painful that I was almost too embarrassed to write about her, much less admit that I am Brazilian and thus, have something in common with this singer.

Unfortunately, the problem with her music goes much beyond her crappy English.  The majority of her songs are extremely slow and depressing, yet too annoying to help someone fall asleep.

The few songs that are more upbeat are characterized by a mixture of Bossa Nova, jazz, and trance; who in their right mind would ever believe that combining these distinct genres would result in good sounding music is definitely beyond me!!!

Bebel Gilberto should definitely have taken more lessons from her parents and uncle before EVER producing a CD.


She & Him

I recently saw a commercial featuring Zooey Deschanel

Fabric of My Life

Prior to this commercial, I did not know she was a singer.  I had seen and really enjoyed her acting in ‘Failure to Launch’ and ‘500 Days of Summer,’ and thought that the ‘Fabric of My Life’ commercial was cute.

I discovered that she is part of a duo called She & Him, in which Zooey is accompanied by guitarist M. Ward; together they perform indie folk style of music.

Their CD “Volume One” features a variety of simple, mellow songs that highlight Zooey Deschanel’s soft voice.

As shown by their song ‘Sentimental Heart,’ She & Him do not sing the best and most complex music there is.

I definitely don’t foresee these stupid, sappy songs becoming a part of my top most played songs on iTunes, but who could ever hate on Zooey with that gorgeous hair and blue eyes?!

I’m jealous anyway…


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